As I'm facing a specific fear these days and I must shift my perspective from one of fear to one of trust. I have these moments of beautiful trust and then it feels like this fear gremlin takes over and I close even tighter. It's this strange dance between open and closed, fear and trust. This is what my acting coach called a 'fusion'. A fusion is when you are shifting from one paradigm to another in your internal approach to the world. It's a place of "either/ or "and also this strange place of limbo where anything can happen. I've gone through several of these fusions over these last few years and what I've come to know is: 1. when I'm having one 2. that it'll all even itself out in the end even if right now it's taking a lot of energy to hold the space open for what I want to come to me. Breaking habits take work. But this work brings satisfaction in the end.